The best story ever! "My Wife and Mr. X"

This week has been sort of a rough one. I’ve had a lot of things going on plus Bex has been very sick. He woke up with a 102.4 temperature and of course I started freaking out! He hasn’t really been sick like this before so it was hard to deal with not knowing how to make him feel better or really what to do! Bex is our first child and I’m an only child. So clearly you can see my despair. But I tell you that to tell you this. J I received my Winter edition of The Nest magazine and took it with me to read in the waiting room on Sunday, which happened to be almost a 2 hour wait! Nothing is worse than having a sick child that is of course if you have to wait in a waiting room with 15 other sick, screaming children for what seems like an eternity. Anyways if you aren’t signed up for this magazine... definitely go online and register for The Nest it’s from the makers of The Knot.com so if you are registered on The Knot they might automatically send it to you. (PLUS IT’S FREE!!!!) It’s just fabulous. Has advice all the way from how to decorate to how to deal with your mother in law. Lord, knows we all need a little advice in that department! J lol. So I came across this article... it made me literally laugh out loud in the waiting room. I got some strange looks but if your husband is anything like mine you’ll see why! I couldn’t find the article on their website so I decided to type it up. This is hilarious!

It’s called my wife and Mr. X by Scott Stein.

“ My wife is having an affair. Even worse, she’s having it with a friend of mine- a close pal, in fact. I’m sure she didn’t mean for this to happen, but it did. And, in a way, it’s all my fault. Why? Because I’m the one who introduced them. Let me explain.

It all started a year ago. I’m recently married and I love my wife, Joanna, very much. But every once in awhile, I like to do my own things; you know hang out with my old friends. My buddy- let’s call him “Mr. X” has been a part of my life since 2005, and I wasn’t about to dump him just because I up and got married. So, we’d hang out most evenings, chilling in front of the TV together, especially after Joanna went to sleep. Sometimes she got frustrated and told me to come to bed, that we were newlyweds and I was spending way too much time with him.

I kept telling my wife that Mr. X wasn’t a bad influence. He and I stayed up late, it’s true, but I still spent time with her on weekends and major holidays. Couldn’t that work out? To prove it, I did what any logical guy would do. I introduced them so we could all hang out, to show he wasn’t that bad.

The three of us started spending time together, and what an awesome week that was. Then she asked if she could play with Mr. X while I watched. I felt a little uncomfortable, but I figured what the heck, I’m an open-minded guy. But then they kept at it- one hour, two hours. I’d come home from a long day at work, unable to reach Joanna on her cell, and when I walked in the door, I’d see her with a passionate, crazed look in her eye. She’d be glued to the TV, playing Cotan and Ticket to Ride with him, saying she was sorry, it wasn’t what it looked like. Then she’d stay up all night with him while I went to bed alone.

By now you may be wondering who this shady Mr. X is. I’ll come out and tell you: he’s my Xbox 360. And even though he wasn’t, well, human, this machine was making me just as jealous as another dude could. After all, he was spending more quality time with my wife and exciting her more than I was.

And now I was mad. I wanted to fight him, man to machine. I’d wrestle with his wires, beat him to a pulp and drop-kick him into the bathtub. Or worse, I’d auction his little butt off on eBay. Take that! Then Joanna would have nowhere else to go each night but the bedroom, where I’d be waiting, candles burning, to seduce her more powerfully than he ever could.

Of course, I snapped back to my sense and realized that violence was not the answer (can you imagine being arrested for assaulting a machine?). Instead, I sat down with my wife and told her I’d learned my lesson I now knew how it felt to be neglected, and it didn’t feel good. To show how far I’d come, I planned a romantic vacation for the two of us, with no distractions. The more quality hours we spent together alone, the more Mr. X lost his luster.

But I won’t lie: back at home, we had moments where we wanted to cheat. So we created a solution for our love triangle that I highly recommend to any gaming couple: we only pay two-person games so Mr. X can’t come between us, and our nightly cutoff time is 10 p.m. sharp. Oh, and by the way, if you TV is in the bedroom, move it out so Mr. X has no way of getting into your spouse’s hands under the covers. Having a game-free room forces you to generate your own, um, electricity. The best part is that both of you are guaranteed to score.”

Pedro used to play Xbox 360 allllllll the time. Notice I said used to. I finally convinced him that selling the game console would be most beneficial to our family. J And it was... we actually got to see him! Lol. No he wasn’t that bad but man when I read this.... I couldn’t stop from laughing. If you have a gamer guy surely you can relate! J lol I thought everyone would get a kick out of this and maybe just maybe I’ll post that advice for the mother-in-laws!

-H